My little Girl

As some of you may or may not know, Analise is a gift from God. Jason and were told that we would not be able to have children. That news broke my heart, I so wanted to be a mother. I shed many tears and spent many nights at the altar crying my "Hannah" tears.

I had alot of healing and breaking of mindsets because of choices I had made in my past. God had to restore many things in me, but I remember one night at the altar that I finally truly let go and I remember saying out loud to him "You know what God, I am good if I never have a child or never get a chance to mother a child". God must have seen my sincere heart that night.

About a week later, we had a Prophet from South Africa speaking in our service... I know I know.. some of them can be weird and I don't always believe every word out of their mouths, but I do know that if God can use a Donkey.. then he can also speak through a man.. :-)

The church staff was back in the pastors office with the man from South Africa, just being silly and relaxing after service. All of a sudden he stands up and looks at Jason and I says "So you do not have any children?" Jason responds with a no and tells him that we have been told by Doctors that we never will. The man walks over to us and is just glaring at us, but with love in his eyes and says, "May I lay hands on your wife's womb"? Jason says yes, that would be fine. He then prays a very simple but powerful prayer and then walks away from us and turns around with a huge smile on his face and says "You call me when your daughter is born"!

Jason and I walked out of there hopeful for the first time in a long time, but also not wanting to get our hopes up to high.. I chose to cling onto the word from God. I wrote it down on paper and posted it on my refrigerator and one in my bible. I read it daily, sometimes a dozen times a day!

Almost a year went by and no positive pregnancy tests. Jason and I stopped talking about the word and went on with life. Then almost a year to the day of the prophet giving us the word from the Lord I started to feel very very tired! I half heartedly took a pee test and laid it aside and went to cook dinner. I came back awhile later and expected to see a great big negative, but this time I say a very faint...I mean very faint positive line. I didn't know how to feel! I was excited, but still did not want my heart broken again. Jason came home late that night and I ran up to him and asked him what he saw and he said that he say a faint line too... I remember the feeling in the room that night.. We had joy and hope again.

I made an appointment with my Gyno and I walked into the office after peeing on a stick and he said.. why are you here? He said of course your pregnant, but you are way early.. we will see you in about a month. I asked him.. "So I am really pregnant" ? He just laughed.. Yes you are pregnant. Go home and take vitamins and we will see you soon! Jason and I walked out of there so happy.

I had the perfect pregnancy, I loved being pregnant! I just thank my heavenly father for the precious gift that he gave me. Analise (which mean God's Gracious Promise) is such a blessing! She is my everything! God has entrusted me with such a priceless gift of being her mother. I am not perfect, and I mess up alot, but another thing that God gave Analise was a compassionate heart. When I lose my temper or get frustrated with her, I always come back to her and ask for her forgiveness and tell her that mommy was wrong in the way I acted. Analise just grabs my face with her little hands and says" That's OK mommy, you are still the BEST mommy in the whole wide world"! I guess that just sums it up! Thank you Jesus for giving me this precious gift!