In Memory of "Lil Bit" My Cat!

LITTLE BIT

I have always been a cat person. After I got married I found out very quickly that Jason was allergic to cats. My sweet husband suffered through several years of very bad allergies to allow me to have a cat in our home! Finally we realized that a cat was something we could not have in our home.

About 2 and half years ago, a stray cat was dropped off at my office. She had a black and white kitten with her that looked way to big to be still nursing, but he must have been the momma's favorite because she allowed him to still nurse. I fell in love with him and thought.. I could keep a cat here at the office. We found the mamma a home and I kept the kitten. I named him lil bit because he was just a little bit of a thing, but had tons of attitude!

He was the perfect cat. He was not a lap cat, but he loved to know that I was near. Every morning he would come up and put his paws on my chair for a head scratch. I always knew when he was out of water or food because he would start knocking things off my desk and walk in front of my monitor until I got the point.

He loved to go outside and he knew he could not walk out that door until he had his leash on. He would get all excited when I grabbed the leash and headed for the door!

We ended up getting another stray named Minnie for him to have some company at night. They really liked each other.. I must admit Minnie is not my favorite, but she made bit happy.


He was only over 2 years old and he got a bad bladder infection. I took him to the vet and they put him on antibiotics and steriods, but he just was not getting better. This past week was so difficult seeing him fade away. He actually needed me this week and I gladly took care of him. When I found that he had passed away this morning, I held him and told him what a good boy he was. My daughter was with me and she just held me as I cried and said my goodbyes to "my boy. Analise said "Momma he is not sick anymore and he is happy" What a smart little girl she is!

He was my grumpy old man that I adored and he will be missed!

Date Night... Yeah!

I got off work early and Analise took the bus home, so I didn't have to wait in the long car line of parents to get her. Jason and I decided it would be a great date night. I call the parents and of course they would love to watch her and actually asked if she could stay the night... yippeeee wooohooo! So we pack her back and get ready and head out.

We went to see the new 007 movie.. which is totally a great movie! ALOT of action.. and then we went to Macaroni Grill. We had the chef trio. You get a salad, main dish and dessert for a great price! Jason got the lasagna and I got something called pasta milano and it was good, but I think the chef spilled a whole bottle of oregano into my plate.
So, my sweet husband said I like oregano so let's switch... Isn't he sweet???

After dinner we decided to just head home and chill.. I feel like I am hardly home anymore so it was nice to kick back... Jason and I said.. we must be getting old.... I think we were in bed by 10:30! Oh well that is the way we roll! :-)

Frustration

I am going to try this blog thing and see if I can get some negative feelings out. I HATE to be misunderstood!! I work hard and do a darn good job of it! I am so tired of having to deal with the whims of others! I am done feeling like I have to prove myself. Everyone that is here and around me know that I kick butt and that is all that matters. I am trying to pray through this latest episode and follow God's example of Grace, but I am human. I bet this is a little bit of how God might of felt hanging on the cross.. knowing that he was doing everything right and for us, but we threw rocks at him a spit at him when he was blameless. I just have a very tiny portion of what he might have felt and it is hurting. I am trying to give up this feeling of being justified in feeling angry and bitter.

Ultimately, I am a child of God and I need to rest is will! But please God, can you get me outta here soon???

Staring out the window

I am sitting at my desk staring out the window. I have so much work to do, but my mind is faraway from here. Normally Fall is my favorite season, but this year has been different. My mind and heart have been on such a journey. It has been a difficult one, and has left me wondering who I am and how I got here.

I was reading my verse again today Philippians 3:13-14 (see above)like i usually do and a word stood out to me, struggle. I can honestly say that I never saw that word before in that verse. I looked it up and it means to contend with an adversary or opposing force.

So we are supposed to forget what is behind and contend with an adversary of opposing force for what is ahead! You know how I read that verse before? Forget what is behind and everything will be roses for what is ahead! I am laughing at that now, but up until today that is how I read it! I think that the easy part will be forgetting what is behind.. The hard part now will be struggling for what is ahead!

I want what is ahead for me. I want to run to the goal so that I can win the prize of being in heaven! What a prize that will be! It is so easy for me to get wrapped up in the emotions of living and expectations of living. With God's strength, I am going to struggle for what is ahead and have a Godly attitude about the struggle because spending eternity with him is soooo worth the "struggle"!

Love, Me

My little Girl

As some of you may or may not know, Analise is a gift from God. Jason and were told that we would not be able to have children. That news broke my heart, I so wanted to be a mother. I shed many tears and spent many nights at the altar crying my "Hannah" tears.

I had alot of healing and breaking of mindsets because of choices I had made in my past. God had to restore many things in me, but I remember one night at the altar that I finally truly let go and I remember saying out loud to him "You know what God, I am good if I never have a child or never get a chance to mother a child". God must have seen my sincere heart that night.

About a week later, we had a Prophet from South Africa speaking in our service... I know I know.. some of them can be weird and I don't always believe every word out of their mouths, but I do know that if God can use a Donkey.. then he can also speak through a man.. :-)

The church staff was back in the pastors office with the man from South Africa, just being silly and relaxing after service. All of a sudden he stands up and looks at Jason and I says "So you do not have any children?" Jason responds with a no and tells him that we have been told by Doctors that we never will. The man walks over to us and is just glaring at us, but with love in his eyes and says, "May I lay hands on your wife's womb"? Jason says yes, that would be fine. He then prays a very simple but powerful prayer and then walks away from us and turns around with a huge smile on his face and says "You call me when your daughter is born"!

Jason and I walked out of there hopeful for the first time in a long time, but also not wanting to get our hopes up to high.. I chose to cling onto the word from God. I wrote it down on paper and posted it on my refrigerator and one in my bible. I read it daily, sometimes a dozen times a day!

Almost a year went by and no positive pregnancy tests. Jason and I stopped talking about the word and went on with life. Then almost a year to the day of the prophet giving us the word from the Lord I started to feel very very tired! I half heartedly took a pee test and laid it aside and went to cook dinner. I came back awhile later and expected to see a great big negative, but this time I say a very faint...I mean very faint positive line. I didn't know how to feel! I was excited, but still did not want my heart broken again. Jason came home late that night and I ran up to him and asked him what he saw and he said that he say a faint line too... I remember the feeling in the room that night.. We had joy and hope again.

I made an appointment with my Gyno and I walked into the office after peeing on a stick and he said.. why are you here? He said of course your pregnant, but you are way early.. we will see you in about a month. I asked him.. "So I am really pregnant" ? He just laughed.. Yes you are pregnant. Go home and take vitamins and we will see you soon! Jason and I walked out of there so happy.

I had the perfect pregnancy, I loved being pregnant! I just thank my heavenly father for the precious gift that he gave me. Analise (which mean God's Gracious Promise) is such a blessing! She is my everything! God has entrusted me with such a priceless gift of being her mother. I am not perfect, and I mess up alot, but another thing that God gave Analise was a compassionate heart. When I lose my temper or get frustrated with her, I always come back to her and ask for her forgiveness and tell her that mommy was wrong in the way I acted. Analise just grabs my face with her little hands and says" That's OK mommy, you are still the BEST mommy in the whole wide world"! I guess that just sums it up! Thank you Jesus for giving me this precious gift!

New to this....

As if keeping up with Myspace and Facebook is not already enough, I feel the urge to start blogging. This urge may last a day, week or maybe a year! I am willing to flow with this new found feeling. I think that it maybe a good thing to journal things that are happening in the Jones Family. Analise is growing so fast and has a great personality. She says some very smart and funny things that I can't wait to start sharing on this blog. Feel free to check out what is happening in our little part of the world! Wish me luck!