The Nightmare

Let's start this off by saying I NEVER ok.. very rarely remember my dreams.. but early this morning, I had one of those dreams that just rips your heart out and hands it on a platter to you.

I dreamt that Analise and I were at some kinda of huge aquarium like the ones at Bass Pro. Analise ran ahead of me and jumped in the tank and was looking for stuff on the bottom.. (she loves to do that) I come up to the tank and start yelling at her to get out. All I do is yell and she acts like she doesn't even hear me. I continue to yell and the next thing I know is... she starts gasping in water and dies right in front of me. As the dream continues, I wake up in bed next to Jason, he is so mad at me. All he says is, why didn't you jump in and save her. I run to the back room and my parents are going through old photos on a bed and I just look at them.. They look back up at me, but they don't say anything.. I run back to the kitchen screaming and crying hysterical and I get out a phone book to call the Table Rock Aquarium (that is the name of the place in my dream) to see where my baby Analise is. and then I wake up!

I immediately get out of bed and wipe my eyes and Rush to see if Analise is ok.. She is sound asleep...... As I walk back down the hallway back to bed..a few tears are run down my face and my heart is racing and it actually hurts. I can still hear Jason's voice from my dream, saying "why didn't you save her?" I still don't have an answer to that.... and yes my heart is still hurting... I wake Jason up and tell him the dream and he just holds me.

I guess that is why I probably shouldn't have read the Bible book of Hosea before bed. Anywhoo.. I just had to get this outta my mind and written down... Any ideas what it might mean? :-)

Thanksgiving and Showboatin... Branson Style!

I have just not had the time to blogg.. like I would like too.. so this one will sum up the past couple of weeks..

Thanks giving was amazing this year. We went to my brother's house. Johnnie made the turkey and yummy polish sausage and kraut (our polish tradition every year). oooo By the way we found and awesome European Market on Campbell Street in Springfield. It is a great store with very friendly polish owners! Jason made the mashed potatoes and I made the sweet potaoe soufle and green bean casserole. Dad made a great salad and some other dish.. that I didn't really care for .. (sorry dad) and of course.. my sister n law Sarah made her pies.. Chocolate, banana and sawdust.. yum yum..

We had a late lunch and then we played Rockband 2 and watch Hulk and hung out as a fam..

I am incredibly thankful this year. Jason and I went through so much in our marriage and we almost didn't make it. But we serve an incredible God and only by his strength and grace we are still together! At one point during the day Jason and I just looked at each other with tears coming down thinking of what this holiday could have been like if we were not a family..... We have sooooosooo much to be Thankful for. This January 25th we will celebrate our 12th anniversary. It will be an awesome day for us! That sums up Thanksging 2008!

One of the perks of living in a tourist town is getting free tickets to all the shows. Every year... one of my residents gives me Showboat tickets to the Branson Belle. It is a huge boat that cruises up and down Table Rock Lake. You get a very delicious meal and show! This year I took my mom and of course Analise. We had so much fun and I think the pictures will show exactly how much fun we had. Analise likes to take silly pics.

Here is the website if you would like to check it out!

http://www.showboatbransonbelle.com/

On a side note... My niece just turned 13 today!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESS!!!! Oh my goodness I am getting old! She is a teenager.. watch out Springfield..... I found a pic of Bess when she was probably about 5 or 6 and one of her and I from a week ago...... Tooo me.. she will always be that little 5 year old girl..... Love you Bessie.. and pretty please.. stop growing! :-)

My 5 year old and the talk!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

My 5 year old and "the talk"

I just finished bathing Analise and she looks up at me and says "Mommy, do I have a wiener or a hooha"? I said a what? "A wiener or a whooha MOMMY"! I'm like who said that? She says no one, I she just thought it up.. I'm like yeah right.. Well I figure since she is asking I might as well share the technical term for it, as any good parent should right? So I asked her if she has seen baby Fisher without his diaper and she says Yes. I said that God made boys and girls different and boys have penis' and Girls have vagina's. She just looks at me and laughs and says 'mommy I CAN'T say that, so I will just call them wieners and whoohas"!

I finished blow drying her hair and the whole time I am thinking about good parenting and how I should handle this situation and many more to come. So I shut the dryer off and say you know Analise, you can talk to mommy about anything, right? She just looks at me weird, like mommy is thinking to hard, and says "Yeah, Mom I know". I breathe a sigh of relief, feeling I have jumped a parenting hurdle. I put Lou to bed and run into the living room and tell Jason all about it, we giggle and then it hits us...... Our little girl is out there in the world with all those WIENERS!!! Oh no! Jason puts a spit shine on his rifle preparing for the future!

I'd rather give birth again

Saturday, September 15, 2007

I would rather give birth again!

I guess I should start from the beginning........ I was 8 and with my parents at one of there friends house. Well as usual all the kids were told to go to the basement. (If only they REALLY knew what all went on down there.. lol) The basement had that slippery cement. I was running away from a boy who was trying to kiss me. (looking back now... I should have stopped and laid a kiss on that boy that he would never forget!) anywhoo... so as I was running i fell flat on my face, cracking my 2 front teeth.

25 years later..... The root of one of the front teeth finally breathed its last breathe and died.. leaving me with a nasty infection and having to get a Root Canal!
Well, everyone that I talked 2 said that Root Canals are no big deal and dentristy has come a long way baby! I was still extremely nervous! 9:00 AM on Friday came all to soon, and the next thing I know I am laying on the dentist table and almost crying because I a so scared. Then the dentist says the magic words... Would I like some happy gas before the shot?? Who wouldn't want happy gas! So they hook it up over my nose and I breathe.. then about 10 seconds into it I feel REALLY happy. So I do what comes naturally and give my dentist 2 thumbs up and say "I am feeling great.. do whatever you gotta do"!! Well she starts laughing and drags out the HUGE needle! Luckily... I was HAPPY!!!

About 15 minutes into the procedure.. I see a very worried look on the dentists face. She asks if I am OK now and if she can take the happy gas off. Regretfully... I tell her I'm OK and take it off. Needless to say that 3 hours later and a whole lot of discomfort she finishes. She had to make 2 incisions and I had to have 5 shots! She also said that this was one of worst and most difficult Root canals ever! I am left very sore and with stitches in my mouth. She gave me some great pain meds, antibiotics and something for swelling because she said that she was pretty rough on my face. Honestly, I already knew that because at one point she was physically pulling me off the chair from my mouth. With it all over and done. I can say that I will not be doing this again in a VERY long time!!

I don't know who to be more mad at!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007



I don't know who to me more mad at!!!

1. My insurance man that said "your last ticket was almost 3 years ago, so your record is almost clear, be sure not to get a ticket"!

2. The fact that I was headed to Starbucks.. darn that addiction

3. At myself and the fact that I was speeding. (doesn't everyone)?

Anywhooo.. I got a speeding ticket..... again!

I think I need to learn how to bat my eyelashes and flirt a little more.. yea.. maybe that would work!

Can a girl just an ice coffee without spit in it.. please!

Here is another one!




Friday, July 20, 2007

Can a girl just get an ice coffee WITHOUT spit in it?

Being a Property Manager from time to time I have to evict people from their homes. (ok forget time to time.. pretty much all the time) Well, last week I had a particular bad one. She had a few chosen gestures and words for me. No big deal.. I had a few words for her too! I ended up having to trespass her off my property!

So this morning I slept in late and did have time for my addiction.. Starbucks, so I decided to get an ice coffee from McDonald's. I go through the drive thru and order very sweetly and pay my money and pull up to get my drink. I see a hand sticking out the window with my coffee.. I look up and of course... it is the girl I evicted!!! I pulled my arm back from grabbing my drink and I am about to just pull away and say forget it.. When she leans on the window edge and says I have been wanting to talk to you. I am sorry about what I said I was just stressed out. I was taken a back at this, but i went with it. I said that I do care, but I have a job to do... blah blah blah.. Well after the talk I take my coffee and I drive off.. I stare at the drink.. extremely thirsty and debate in my head about if I should drink it or not.

Well my thirst won and I drank it... so far so good.. I am not sick and I guess I will never know if she is back at McDonald's laughing her head off because I fell for it and am now drinking her spit!!!

Who knows.. what can a girl do???

From 2 people who almost lost it all!

Some of you may or may not have read these blogs that I am going to post. If you have, then feel free to disregard them. I am going to be only blogging on this web page from now on, so I thought it might be nice to bring my blogs over from myspace. Enjoy..

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Poetry from 2 people who almost lost it all, but with the grace of God found something better than they could have ever imagined!

From Her to Him~

To the Pure Love I see in you.
From a heart that has been liberated


Where have you been?
Is this real? Am I breathing? No, wait I am dreaming.
Then you touch me, a kiss that says a thousand things. I try to capture every word, but my being gets swept up in your gaze and I dissolve into you.
When I am apart from you, my thoughts are never far. Can this be true? I have dreamt of you like this. No wait…. My dreams could never have seen this. My heart is so free.
My soul is aching to have you, even though I have just drunk of you. My heart beats fast when you touch me, there is so much I want to give you, and let you see. Will I awake to find this feeling again?
You're the only one; I have longed to let in.
Here you are in front of me, you have the key, and I am breathless to know….. Where have you been my Love?

From Him to Her~

Understood

Understood. That is all you wanted.
Understood. That is all you needed.
That which you desired,
In my heart you tried to acquire.
Inside of you a storm was raging,
The man of your dreams, consumed by darkness
Understood. Your hope was fading.
For just a moment you looked away,
In anothor's words,
You found a way through your days,
Understood. You thought you were,
A false hope was all he gave,
It was my voice you really craved.
Understood. Your hopelessness was embraced.
Understood. That is all I wanted.
Understood. That is all I needed.
A tomb of darkness I was trapped.
A way of escape I could not map.
Too long in the dark, my eyes were blind.
No memories of light my mind could not find.
Letting go, my heart was hardening.
For a shadow of you my black heart settled.
All that was yours, to her I surrendered.
For a lifetime, I looked away,
In no one's words
I could find a way through my days.
Understood. My life was cursed.
Understood. My soul was hollow.
A false god I did follow,
My whole heart it did swallow.
Understood. My love was devoured.
Understood. This was our final hour.
Understood. Perfect Love a Cross did give.
Understood. He makes dead things live.
From my tomb I did arise,
From my eyes, He removed the blinds.
When I looked for the first time,
Always in front of me was the key to my prison.
Understood. I was the author of our pain.
Understood. Could even He, make you love me again?
Understood. There are miracles in His pierced hands.
Understood. He erases the serpents evil plans.
A new heart in me created.
A new love in us forever,
How can this be? Only in fairy tales this can exist,
Every moment with you I cannot resist
A love so full so new, a taste of heaven our hearts renewed.
Understood. We have all we wanted.
Understood. His power is real.
Understood. Our lives the serpent did steal.
Understood. In Him our love, forever sealed.